The Difference Between Dreams and Nightmare
by precious-passenger
Summary: Dean finds out that Cas has been helping him out in ways that he's never imagined before. Set Season 4. Eventual Destiel.


Title:The Difference Between Dreams and Nightmares

Summary: Dean finds out that Cas has been helping him out in ways that he's never imagined before. Set Season 4. Eventual Destiel.

A/N: Hey guys, we're unstoppable. This story started as a role play between me and KlainebowsHallowsRumbleroar. We loved it so much, we decided to turn it into story. I hope you like it. Tell us if you'd like to read more. Don't forget to review.

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Dean startled awake, feeling someone's-or something's- eyes on him, even with his eyes closed. He tried to glance at the intruder

"Dammit, Cas. You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here? " Dean asked sleepily.

"I was, uh... watching over you..." the angel said apprehensively.

"You did what?"

He shrugged a sorry, not understanding the rules of personal space very well.

"So what do you want?" the green-eyed man exclaimed, a little exasperated.

"Nothing," Cas said, "Just making sure you were okay."

"Cas, you're sure everything is okay? You're scaring me," the hunter said nervously.

He didn't look at Dean. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Come on. Sit." He ordered, pointing at the bed.

Castiel obeyed, and reluctantly sat down beside the hunter, looking over him warily. Dean leant his head back on the pillow, feeling a strange sense of safety at angel's presence.

"What is it? Why did you want me to sit down?" he asked.

"Because you looked uncomfortable. This way it's more. ... human"

He tilted his head, not unlike a small kitten. "But I am not human."

_Did the righteous man forget that?_

"Believe me, I know," he chuckled lightly, "But _I_ am. So tell me what you're here for or let me sleep in peace. "

"I was doing both."

"What's that supposed to mean? "

"...It might make you a little uncomfortable."

"Okay?" Dean said, unsure where this was going.

"You were having nightmares," he began, biting his lip.

"Tell me something I don't know, " Dean muttered darkly, looking away.

"So I, uh, stopped them," the angel concluded, looking awkward.

"Oh," was all the hunter said. _Why would the angel do that?_

"Only for last night, that is. It works one day at a time," Cas clarified. He didn't mention how this wasn't the first time he had visited and wouldn't be the last.

"Why would you do that?" Dean asked, his mind refusing to believe the angel did it out if the goodness of his heart. "I deserve them."

Cas shook his head. "If you deserved them, I would have left you down there."

"You should've" Dean said, voice breaking.

"It was not your fault. You lasted longer than almost everyone," he replied gruffly.

"Not my dad," the man reminded Castiel bitterly.

"Only because he was too broken to care about what they did."

"Don't talk about him like that. He was the strongest... most selfless man I've ever known, " Dean rasped out.

Cas pursed his lips, feeling differently.

"What do angels do, Cas, when they're broken beyond repair?" The hunter asked, turning his glistening green eyes at the man in front of him

"They fall, and become mortal," he stated, "Or so I've heard."

"Well. I think I'm falling but I don't know what I'm going to become. Probably a demon," he chuckled, hating himself.

"That's the thing about humankind- you learn from your mistakes and downfalls, deal with them, and become stronger," Castiel tried to comfort, though he was not really familiar with how to do it.

"I-I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of being strong. "

Cas shrugged, "It's up to you. You're the only one who has to make that decision. But, personally, I think that you would be doing the world a great disservice."

Dean took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed. It was easier to talk this way. He could be more honest.

"Dean... you are the righteous man. You are stronger and braver than any other human," the angel said gently. He couldn't ignore that he was starting to have a soft spot for the lonely hunter.

Dean felt a desperate need to reach... to touch, but he was afraid of getting rejected. A single tear slid down his cheek, quickly followed by another. He wiped them away furiously

"I would give anything not to have you feel like this."

Cas's soft voice mesmerized him, and he opened his eyes to look at the angel's face.

His blue eyes met with green, like the sky meeting the ocean.

"C-could you do something for me" Dean asked, almost shyly and continued before the angel could talk. "And promise not to tell anyone about it?"

Castiel nodded in reply.

"Hold me? " he asked shyly, eyes once again closed for the inevitable rejection.

Castiel shifted closer to the man, and awkwardly wrapped an arm around him. The touch completely ruined his resolve and Dean let out a breath he'd been holding and the dam broke, sobs being released.

Cas held him tighter, placing his chin on Dean's head.

"You're not a failure, Dean," the angel whispered, in tune with the man's thoughts.

"You really mean that?" Dean asked, his green eyes glistening with unshed tears

He nodded. "I wouldn't lie to you."

Dean tried to stop the flow of tears.

"I-I'm sorry. I just.. with the thing between Sam and Ruby getting stronger and taking up more of his time...I want to stop feeling like a bad person. I just wanted to feel needed again. "

"The world needs you, Dean."

Dean looked down, embarrassed. He tried to make himself look smaller. Dammit, he had no right to be getting all emotional like that.

"It's okay, Dean. You are human, and you are allowed to have feelings," the angel said, once again reading his mind.

Another round of silence followed. Dean cleared his throat and started in a barely audible voice.

"Do you see them? My nightmares?"

"Yes..." he replied gently.

"How could you even look at me? I don't deserve this."

"It's because you do deserve it."

"On good nights it's about Alistair, torturing me. I can handle them. But...when I dream about those souls and what I did to them...I can't get through with those. They keep haunting me for the whole day."

"Dean, it was not your fault for acting on human instincts to push the pain away."

Dean thought it over and, surprisingly, he was feeling a bit better about it.

"Thank you," Dean pressed a small kiss on angel's shoulder, surprising himself.

He stiffened automatically, unused to most kinds of affection.

"I-I'm sorry." Dean apologized.

"There's no need to be," the angel said with a small smile.

"Would you like to go out... have breakfast with me?" he asked, trying to make the atmosphere less tense. He bit his lip in anticipation, quickly realizing that the angel couldn't be hungry, but hoping he would come anyway.

"I don't need to eat... but you can and I will follow," Castiel responded, getting the hint for once. Dean felt a warm feeling spread in his heart, remembering and cherishing the feeling of being wanted.


End file.
